My Sweet Girl

I was busy in the kitchen and Anna Kate was sitting in the floor watching me. She said "Mommy, everytime I see you, all I want to do is rock". At almost five, she still loves to rock with me in the big rocking chair and I love to oblige.

Compliment?

Just now Ben was talking about the baby and how big Little Squirt would be at this point. I was explaining it to him and Anna Kate wants my belly to be bigger. I explained to her to just have patience and it would be big soon enough. Ben then said "Yeah, mom this is a God thing. Cause you were really too old to have a baby!" I said "Excuse me, but I'm not too old!" He said "Oh well, I don't know about all this pregnant stuff!"

This is going to be an interesting nine months!

What?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

We just found out this week that we are expecting Baby #3 sometime in January. I couldn't sleep the night we found out. I tossed and turned and finally fell into a fitful sleep at around 1:00 AM. Not because I was upset, but because there were lots of emotions heaping up around me. I had some anxiety, some excitement and some shock. I just really wasn't sure I was going to have more. Anna Kate will be 5 in August. We had kind of started wanting a third one around the time Anna Kate was almost 2 but I had been on this nasty medication for my RA and I had to wait two whole years after going off of it to try again. (Keep in mind the rheumatologist didn't give me this little warning when he put me on it--I found it out for myself.) I could have also taken meds to get me off the meds (sounds ludicrous, I know!) and when I prayed about doing so, it just seemed as if the Holy Spirit was telling me wait! So, we waited.


I really figured by the time that the two years had passed that I would either feel too old to have another or that my insides would be so messed up again that I couldn't conceive. The two years were up January of 2008. Do you remember what we were doing at that time? MOVING!!!!!! I really wasn't up for more change at that point. I was in transition, money was extremely tight, Scott had started a new job, the kids were a little unsettled and I was babysitting. It just didn't seem like it was time.


Finally, I started feeling like I might want to try at least for one more. I vacillated back and forth constantly. Scott had wanted another one for awhile and my endo has been flaring up and I figured I had better try. I used my trusty little monitor once. However, it made my mind focus on what might not happen rather than what God has already blessed me with. I made the decision to not rely on the monitor this time and that if God wanted to bless again, then so be it.


I took the test one night before bedtime and laid it on the shelf in the bathroom. I came out and started getting things ready for bed and thought "I better go check that test even though it's probably not positive". My jaw dropped when I picked it up. I walked out in the hallway and said "Scott, you won't believe..." Anna Kate and Ben were saying, "What, what?" (We didn't tell them right then--I needed it to sink in) We walked into the bedroom in disbelief and then stopped ourselves...why in the world were we surprised? God gave us Ben and Anna Kate, why couldn't He give us another? I don't know about everyone else, but when God does something amazing for us, I turn around in disbelief sometimes and I don't know why!


So, was it planned? Sort of...but we both figured my plumbing was all broken again. I have been having a horrible time with the endo lately. However, God blessed again in His time and for that I am thankful. Surprised that my insides worked but thankful.

Blessed Be Your Name

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your Name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your Name

Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the Name of the Lord
Blessed be Your Name
Blessed be the Name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious Name

Blessed be Your Name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be
'Blessed be Your Name

Blessed be Your Name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

You give and take away
You give and take away
But my heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your Name

Reception

Here are some pics from the reception that our church threw for Scott Sunday evening. Honestly, being the center of attention is not my forte, but it was soooo nice! The ladies worked so hard and there was such a good turn out. So supportive and generous! We had a really good time and was actually a whole lot better than the graduation itself! Thanks to Larry and Mary especially...they have been so great to us, well, the whole church has. But it means so much to work for and with Larry and Mary. I think all four of us are quickly becoming good friends. It's so nice! So, enjoy the pics. I think my dad took around 600 pictures over the weekend, but these are the highlights from the reception, I guess. At the end, I put one from graduation that I absolutely LOVE. You'll see why once you get to the end.

Cheesecake! They had regular cake too that had the crest of the school on it. Even though Scott and I are different in many ways, dessert and homes are two ways we are very similar! We've always had the same taste in homes and how to decorate and also dessert! Two staples of life!!!!!

Ben's little buddy Christian...the thing about these two is that they both LOVE to talk. They both try to outdo one another and can be pretty comical!

Mark and Debbie Bandy...a sweet couple. He sings in the choir with me and does a great job!

Jim Rowe, one of the deacons. He has had so many health problems but he remains so faithful.

This is Daniel and Gina Booth, Christian's dad and mom. Let me tell you, Gina is so helpful to me. Sometimes she comes and picks up Ben and she take Ben and Christian EVERYWHERE or they just stay at home and play. It kind of helps me in my day. It gives me a little conversation, but also, gives me one less kid to care for, even though he's mine.

Well, I was hoping you would be able to see the pics in the collage they made, but they are kind of hard to see. There were actually two. It was quite nostalgic looking through all those old pics. There were pics of my papaws who are with Jesus now and pics of Tay and Erin when they were little. Then there were pics of my babies...sniff, sniff.

This is Rachel Greene. She is one of Larry and Mary's daughters. Anna Kate and Ben LOVE this girl! She spoils them a bit, I think! I think this girl has run more laps around the church for them than any one person has walked around the loop of the church. Anna Kate's eyes literally light up when she sees Rachel.

Dave Calvert and Tim Stover. Dave is the husband of our Life Skills Director and is over our most of our prayer ministries, if not all. Tim is married to Kristen and they are expecting their first little one soon! They are such a sweet couple!

This is Art and Carolyn Dean. Such a sweet couple. I think my dad had her in school while he was teaching at Mid-Americal. That was the school that was at River Cities a very long time ago.

Scott and his dad. We love our Pop!!!!!

The girl in the middle is Michelle Protzman, our youth leader. She's great at it! The man is Bill Black and he's the one that heads up the missions trip to Mexico every year. His daughter and son-in-law has a little girl around the age of one and she's now pregnant with twins!!!!! The whole family is so excited and I have to say, Bill is one wrapped Papaw!

This is our Pastor, Larry, serving the cake. I was going to serve it but he insisted that I go and enjoy! He and Mary are so not about themselves. I think I have said this before, but Scott and Larry are so much alike.

The girl standing there in the black is Kristen Stover, her husband's pic is above. The other is Emily Reynolds. Emily comes to see me every now and then and her company is so welcome and FUN! She can sing too...we love having her back!

Here is just a random shot of Anna Kate that I thought was funny. She makes this face sometimes when her picture is being taken. I can't quite figure out what it means...

Here we are talking to Lisa Rhoades. Her husband coached Ben's Upward basketball team and did a great job. Ben keeps telling me that Coach Randy is going to coach him next year. Although I don't know if that will be the case, it still shows how much Ben liked him.

Going through the line for food. They had us go first...I was a little embarrassed but the food was great!!!!!!!

Patsy Escue, my granny and Shawna Rocknich. Patsy Escue and her husband, Charlie have been around from the beginning, even before the church was RCCC. Shawna is a very sweet girl. She was in my Bible study this past year and I enjoyed getting to know her.

Beth Calvert...our Life Skills Coordinator. She and Scott work pretty closely together planning the curriculum for the small groups. She also came and helped me to paint Ben and Anna Kate's room. Sweet lady!

Scott's mom and dad. I was so glad they were able to come to the reception. I think Anna Kate and Mimi are getting after Pop for something. I can tell by the pointed finger and the look on Mimi's face. Anna Kate and Ben LOVE their Pop and Mimi! They especially love when they have all their grandparents together in one place...spoiling, spoiling, spoiling!!!!!

Here we are holding the cake...they really did think of EVERYTHING!

What a spread!

I love the pink punch and boy was it YUMMY!!!!!

This is Bobby and Wanda Hall. They are a homeschool family and hae three kids. Sweet as they can be!!!!!!! The whole family! Bobby and Wanda are "mentoring" us unoffically in child discipline. Thanks Bobby and Wanda...you guys have been such an encouragement!

Here's the pic I love. Grandad and Scott. I love this generational thing. Grandad has been right there on so many of our big days and has been actively involved. We love you Grandad!

Well, that was just some of the highlights. I could have taken hours to post pics, but don't have that kind of time. Thanks to everyone who was involved this past weekend!

Graduation Day

Here is Scott and the kids with the sign we made for Scott. It has been up for several days...I do believe the rain is taking it's toll. We are just so proud of him we wanted everyone to know.

Here is Scott and his dad at dinner. There is a little Mexican restaraunt about a minute from our house and we LOVE it. Of course, keep in mind how much Scott LOVES chips and salsa. We had a good time with our families that evening.

Here he is walking in. I just can't believe we, er, I mean he is done! Granted, he'll be going on to Liberty, but this is just such a milestone. Fourteen years ago, I never would have dreamed that he would turn out the man he is. Not that he wasn't a good man then, but my how he has changed....for the better!

Here is just a few of the men from his graduating class. There were only 11 graduates. God blessed us so with having a Bible college so close to us. Especially a Bible college with good teachers. Scott has grown so much in the last fourteen years. We are also extremely thankful that he was able to go to school while applying it in ministry instead of going to school for four years and graduating with a degree that gave him knowledge that he didn't know how to use. Not that we considered any of the ministries he has been involved in a trial and error ministry, rather, as he learned he was able to apply it to ministry, especially in the later years. I'm sure you wouldn't be surprised how many times God orchestrated things to Scott's advantage in that. He would tell me over and over how things were connecting to classes he was taking. That was a God thing!!!!!

Our God is amazing and I'm so thankful He has seen fit to use us. Even though we may feel inadequate or as if we can't be used, God proves faithful always. We have gained so many friends through ministry...and to think my stubborness could have ruined all of that! Thanks to God that He changed my heart regarding full-time ministry! The blessings we could have missed!

I'll post other pictures later from the reception at our church last night and talk about that then. Dad has those and I'm waiting to get them from him.

Easter

The kids picked their Easter outfits this year. Ben had to have a shirt and tie like dad. I tried and tried to talk him out of it and told him the only reason dad still wears a shirt and tie is because that's what he has. Nothin' doin'! Although, by Easter morning, he had decided he didn't want to wear his tie. Um...WRONG! Since I bought it and I let him pick it out, I made him wear it. I must admit, he did look cute! Anna Kate on the other hand LOVES wearing pretty dresses. She was all disturbed and worried because I didn't buy myself an easter dress. I had to reassure her over and over that mommy didn't want an easter dress! Not against them, I just don't like to wear them!

All in all, the kids looked adorable and I have a pretty good lookin' husband too! Church was great that morning! The church was packed and Ben still had on his tie when I picked him up from class! I can almost guarantee he won't have that on again this year and I'll NEVER buy another one for him. Anna Kate, on the other hand, has already asked to wear her dress again! I'm sure we'll get plenty of use out of her easter attire!

We had Easter dinner and an egg hunt at mom and dad's after church. The kids were so excited! Mom went all out on the eggs. I think there were around 80 eggs hidden! That's just like my mom too! We were only supposed to have sandwiches for lunch too, but we had the works! I know some people might think we're crazy but I love living this close to mom and dad! My dad and mom always think about others first...which is why mom went all out and filled 80 eggs with candy! She wanted her grandkids to have fun at her house! Dad and mom live their lives for others. My dad helps us constantly with fixing the house...he teaches Scott as he goes. My mom is constantly on the go taking care of others in the family, using her vacation time for dr. appointments and such, and then always seems to have energy for the grandkids!

Anna Kate putting her eggs in her basket...

Ben and Anna Kate comparing how many eggs they had in their baskets! Candy in every one of them!

Thanks mom for helping make Easter so fun for them! They loved it!

FLOWERS!!!!!!!

Some flowers started coming up in a flower bed out in the yard. Anna Kate ran to me today and said "Mommy, those flowers you took me outside to see yesterday are turning in FROSES!"

They are actually tulips, but she insists that they are "froses". I'll have to show her the difference later this evening while we are outside!

Not a fairy tale...

Anna Kate asked Scott to read a book to her he brought home from a recent conference. It's a really neat book for kids and it talks about how the story of Jesus is not a fairy tale and why it's not. Scott read the part about where Jesus rose from the dead.

"Nobody ever died like Jesus. Not even in fairy tales. Nobody ever rose from the dead like Jesus."

Ben piped in and said, "It's a good thing, cuz they would be zombies. Aaaahhhh!!!!!!"

Oh, that boy!!!!!!

Boyfriend?

Anna Kate came to me after AWANA tonight and told me she had a boyfriend. I asked her who...here is the conversation...

AK - Mommy, I have a boyfriend.

Me - Who is it?

AK - It's Riley.

Me - Daddy will punch him in the nose.

AK - No!!!!!!

Me - You better not hold his hand.

AK - Okay..........(hesitation) well, I did.

Scott looked at me a little slumped over...

Me - Anna Kate, you held his hand? (My tone here was panicked. I know it's just hand holding but I am definitely not ready for that!!!! She's only four!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

AK - Well, yeah, when we played Ring Around the Rosie...

Scott felt much better...

Monday Night

We did random activities on Monday evening. Unless we have someplace to go, that is usually what happens. Here Anna Kate was trying on her recital costume for her ballet recital in June.

Here she is trying to look mean with her brother's boxing gloves. I don't think it's possible...

Here are Ben and Scott throwing some punches. Ben could play like this all evening. Scott is such a great dad but eventually, he tires out. :-) Ben definitely has more energy than his dad!

A little confusion?

I have to clarify something. From the looks of the comments everyone thinks Scott built the deck on the front of the house. The deck was here when we bought the house and we wanted to go back to the brick and concrete stoop because it matches the house. The last picture posted is what it looks like right now. We have managed to plant grass in the big mud hole, however, we still have to get the gravel off of the side and plant more grass there plus fill in the hole. We also have to clean the brick up and put new rails up. I'll post more pictures once we get more work done, but with the rain and Scott's schedule, work days have been few and far between. We are hoping for a good Saturday evening!

I just wanted to clear up any confusion. Scott and I are both great at ripping out, but not so good at building...although we try! Hopefully, we can get the whole front done in the next month, or so! Once Scott graduates on MAY 2, it should be a whole lot easier to find work time!

Slow but sure....

Here is the porch with the rails and lattice down...


Here we are in the process of taking the boards off the porch. Scott and I worked ALL day on this. It was a hard job and I have to say, we work well together. I think we could work together daily...we are complete opposites so we generally stay out of each others way.

Next you see the frame to the porch. We had to quit for the day so we had to step over the frame to get in the front door until the next evening. I think our neighbors are probably wondering just how weird we are.

And...here it is...the stoop. It matches the house and I actually think it's going to work! We still have a ways to go. We have to put up rails, plant grass and get all the gravel up, but I definitely have a vision now! Now if I can just be patient as we try to work when Scott has time and around rain!

Ugliest Porch in America!!!

So, here are the upcoming projects for this spring and summer. I would like to think they will be done by summer, but I won't get my hopes up!

Here is the ugly faux stone wall! At one time, it was a garage door. They knocked out a wall and made a huge living area, which is great! However, I can't stand the "stone". I need an inexpensive suggestion! I can't afford french doors, so that's out. We are going to make a home for the garbage cans, they are just there right now for convenience. The basketball hoop will have to stay there. We use it all the time! The kids love to play out there and Scott does too.

This has got to be the ugliest porch...ever!!!!! Since we took this picture, we have started working on it. We have the rails and lattice work down. Under the porch we saw another small porch that was built with the house. I took up one of the boards of the deck to see it if looked like it was still in good shape. So far, so good! Our plan is to rip out the "deck" and clean up the existing porch that goes with the house, put some pretty rails up and plant grass in front. What do you think? I hope it turns out...I actually have been praying for it to turn out. I wish I could wriggle my nose and it all be done but, I can't. I have to remember how everything was last year though when we moved in. There was a toilet out back, the main bathroom was in horrible shape and Ben and Anna Kate were sharing a room. We really have been making progress quickly. It's just that I sit and look at it day in and day out and my list screams at me..."Finish me! Finish me!"

This definitely needs to be finished!!!!! Yuck! If anyone would like to nominate me for HGTV go right ahead! Maybe they would have pity on me!!! :-)

Happy Birthday

The 20th is Scott's birthday. It's hard to believe he'll be 37. He's on a fast track to 40! I met him when he was 21. He is so different than what he was then, in such a good way. He has studied himself into this amazing husband and father. I would say the Word is what has transformed him. There have been times that he has come to me to tell me that he found something in scripture and then apologize to me for not living up to it. There aren't many men willing to do that, or women, for that matter. We'll have a little celebration for him Saturday evening with our parents. Ben and Anna Kate have a special song for him (Happy Birthday in Spanish..something from school). Then in just a few short months we'll be celebrating his graduation and then our 14th anniversary.

Happy birthday honey!!!! We love you!

Birthday message from Anna Kate:

I love you because you are special because you know me and you know everybody and you take care of us when we get scared. You do everything we want you to do and I love you!

Birthday message from Ben:

I love you dearly. And, daddy, I love you because you're a wonderful daddy and you'll always be my daddy.

A Song

A couple of years ago, Scott went to a conference and brought me home a CD by the Getty's. Love them!!!! Anyway, shortly after that, we started going through some trying times and this song encouraged me. I had forgotten about it until I sat down to play the piano today (I don't have the kids) and I found it in a book. I've been singing it since I found it. I love this song!

Jesus, draw me ever nearer as I labor through the storm
You have called me to this passage and I'll follow though I'm worn

Jesus guide me through the tempest, keep my spirit staid and sure
When the midnight meets the morning, let me love You even more

Let the treasures of the trial form within me as I go
And at the end of this long passage, let me leave them at Your throne

May this journey bring a blessing, May I rise on wings of faith
And at the end of my heart's testing, with your likeness, let me wake.

I have some friends and family who are really going through it these days...the one step ahead four steps back kind of thing. Sometimes things SEEM (what we perceive) to come so easily for people. It seems like life falls into place for them and for those who have ever had major struggles, it may seem like their pit never ends. However, at the end of the testing, we will awaken with His likeness and we will have grown to love Him even more.

Losing a Tooth

Ben lost his first tooth. When we took him to the dentist in January, she found it. She said give it about a month and it would come out. Sure enough, it did! Sunday morning when he woke up, he said "Mommy, my tooth is even loose". This was kind of in a whine. While he was eating breakfast he was whining too and I thought, "This thing has got to come out soon". After breakfast he went into his room and hollered "Mommy, I pulled my tooth". I really couldn't believe it. Normally, stuff like that freaks him out.

He's really cute with his little tooth missing! He keeps coming up to me and smiling, just so I'll make over how cute he is. On Monday, one of the times he didn't quite get the response he wanted so he said "Mommy why didn't you say how cute I am like you usually do?" Good grief! So, I stopped what I was doing and hugged him and told him how cute his mommy thought he was (for the 25th time that day...okay, I may be exaggerating a little).

A New Baby

No, not us! A friend of mine had her third baby this morning. First of all, I have to say, he's a cutie! I went to see the babe and his mommy and daddy today. We were doing some other errands so Scott and kids went and just waited in the waiting room. After we were on our way again in the car, Anna Kate gave me some insight that I have never had before...

Anna Kate: Mommy, do you know how babies eat when they are in their mommy's bellies? Their mommies just eat, and whatever they eat, it goes down to their belly and the baby catches it in it's hand and puts the food in their "moufs".

Me: Anna Kate, I don't think that's how babies eat!

Anna Kate: Uh-huh!!! That's how Jayme told they "eated" when she had her baby in her belly.

When...

Colton gets a kid, he can't wear diapers. He'll have to wear underwear.

-Anna Kate

Profound Words

The reason I blog everything my kids say is not so everyone will think my kids are wonderful (although, I think they are)...I truly do use this as a way to keep memories! I've always written down the cute things my kids say, but it is much easier for me to type. Not quite so hard on the hands...

Ben: This homeschool is alot like a boarding school because I live here. If another kid came, it would be a boarding school for him and I would have another kid to play with.

Me: So, are you wanting to go to school somewhere else so you will have someone to play with all the time?

Ben: No, no, no. My public school days are over. You can't live back in the past.

Well spoken son...

Memory Loss

Well, I have a new one from Ben. I thought I might not put this on the blog but it's just so random...it must be Duncan kid trait. The Duncan grandkids come up with some of the funniest things, like when one nephew said his stomach hurt "like a submarine crashed on the bottom of the ocean...and people died".

Ben first of all, ran to me in the other room to be sure I knew he needed to "poo-poo". Being his mother, I realized that meant he wanted me to check on him. When I went to check on him here was the conversation...

Me: Ben, are you done?

Ben: Yes, I'm done. Shew that didn't feel so good!

Me: Well, sometimes that happens.

Ben: Yeah, it made me lose some of my memories.

I've never heard of that condition, but if a condition can be thought of, it will probably be thought of by one of the seven Duncan grandkids...

Good Boy!!!!

Well, Ben has been doing such a good job! His attitude has been great! I have now experienced him as just a typical kid. He has not been whine free or perfect, which is typical. Scott was praising him this morning because he actually got ready for church without kicking and screaming. He whined a bit, but caught himself rather than blowing it up into a terrible twos fit. I'm really not exaggerating.

Scott: "Are you growing up or are you just getting tired of getting in trouble?

Ben: "Dad, boys never get tired of getting in trouble. I guess I'm growing up."

Two very important questions...

Both from my sweet girl, Anna Kate...

Mommy, will God send Satan to the fire house?

Daddy, how do dolphins scratch their itch?

I Couldn't Sleep...

I was lying in bed...awake again! My "roomy" or "rheumy" was making me ache and I couldn't go back to sleep... Three A.M. is not a good time for me to be wide awake, especially when the snow day I dreamed of having is probably not going to be! While lying there, I was thinking on the verses I was reviewing earlier in the day. I started leading a Bible Study at church--so not my strength--and we are doing "Get Out of That Pit" by Beth Moore. Now, 6 or 7 years ago, sometimes I cringed when women started talking about Beth Moore, only because I was always skeptical of the latest "fad"....I know, I know she's been around alot longer than that probably, but that's when I first started hearing about her. But now that I have started reading some of her stuff, I really do enjoy her. This book about the pit has caused me to stop and think about how easily we can slip into a pit. Casting Crowns has a song called "It's A Slow Fade" and it's really just about how we can slip into a pit. It starts out with something small...a glance at a man or a woman (not our spouse), taking prescription pain medicine, a business deal, late nights up by yourself on the internet, a wrong relationship...then we we end up in a place we didn't mean to be.

My personal pit, or I guess one of them, that I can easily slip into is that of anxiety and worry. It's very easy for me to work myself into uncontrollable anxiety, and don't you know that my enemy wants nothing better to make me defenseless. I have lots of "thinking" time on my hands usually. Even though my life is chaotic with my two little ones and homeschooling while watching two more little ones and it leaves my body physically exhausted, my mind has lots of time to dwell on things! So how do I fight my pit? Beth Moore brought out a verse in II Corinthians 10. Verse three says "For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh". I decided to read on in my Bible where verse four says "For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds." At first, this made me think of spiritual warfare. Don't misunderstand me. I fully and wholeheartedly believe in the truest sense of spiritual warfare. I think the enemy infiltrates our mind with thoughts, sometimes to the point of being rendered useless. However, (and please know I am not a Bible scholar) a commentary Scott gave me noted that the weapons Paul referred to are the weapons of the word and prayer. Hmmm...those two things do combat spiritual warfare. Those are our divine weapons. By filling our minds with thoughts of God's word and prayer, the enemy can't have the foothold in my life of anxiety and worry.

This now leads me to my next pit. I came to the conclusion last week that I was trying to be super woman and I'm not sure that God has called me to be super woman. He has called me to be at His feet, waiting upon Him. I tend to get myself very busy...working for Him, of course. This pit of being busy, as far as I'm concerned is so dangerous for me. I get so busy trying to be the primary caretaker of my kids (not that Scott is not a great dad, please don't get me wrong), homeschooling my two while watching two others and then trying to be a servant and fill areas at church, that I get myself into a pit. It takes a week of being sick and dog tired to realize that maybe I'm trying to do too much. God has given me these little lives who are dependent on me, as I try to teach them independence, and I can't let myself fall short here. I have to back down and know that I have boundaries and limits physically. Another shortcoming of allowing myself to be busy is not having time for the above-mentioned "divine power". I don't dwell on the Word and prayer as much...I don't have time to sit down and read...my mind is still working furiously, which then leads to anxiety and worry. I don't have time to fill it with the things of God.

All this said, I think my two pits work hand in hand. Without the Word we can't combat untruth. We can't combat the second glances, the pain medication (one that scares me personally having RA), the screen that pops up on our computer late at night, the anxiety and the worry, the legalism of today's church that screams we have to do something to help God out, getting too busy, and the list could go on and on. We are so feeble without God's empowerment in our lives. My lips always said that, but I think my heart truly believes it now. Christianity has become so much more for than what I wear or what I do...it's a heart matter. I can "look" like the best form of a Christian and conform myself in a wrong way to being a "proper" Pastor's wife, but at the root of it all is my heart. Titus calls us "a people for His own possession" (ESV). Do I allow my heart to be possessed by Him? Is my heart fully yielded to Him in what I do and give...I have come to the realization that I don't do to please God, I do because I love God. But if my doing becomes an idol or pit in my life, God is not glorified. My "divine power" that I have at my fingertips is not being utilized to it's fullest potential.

Still awake...but I'm sure you are tired of my rambling, I'll stop now!

My Basketball Star

Well, my pictures are backwards but you'll get the point. Ben played his first basketball game today. He was absolutely adorable and my heart melted the minute he put on his little uniform. I had to bribe him to play, but now that he has started he really likes it. It helps that his dad is his assistant coach. I don't get how Scott wears so many hats, but he gets it done. Sidenote: Have I mentioned to anyone that he won't be wearing the hat undergrad anymore after May? Woohoo!!!!

Okay, so back to basketball! You'll see two of my favorite men, or actually, three of my favorite men above. My dad is standing just to the left with his camera. Notice Ben's hands! This was the only one I could get like this because people kept getting in the way. Every time the announcer would start counting down to the buzzer, Ben would stop in his tracks and cover his ears with his hands. It was quite humorous to watch! Never mind that last shot...the buzzer is loud!

Here is my favorite shot for the day. He was a little nervous and I figured he just needed one last hug of reassurance from his assistant coach a.k.a. "dad". Scott told me later that he was informing him that he needed to go and play instead of just stand there because he was nervous.

He had just been thrown the ball here. He missed it...actually, Ben didn't catch very many and he tried to give the other team a basket twice, but eventually he'll get it. Chris and Marisa gave us a hoop for our driveway and we go out and practice every chance we get.

If you look real close to the left of the picture, behind the white line, you can see Ben. They have them run through a tunnel with a bunch of smoke. It doesn't do much for pictures but the effect is fun at the game...that with the rock-n-roll loudly playing in the background. It's something like "Who Let the Dogs Out?" I can't remember...

This is not some picture of a random man but the team huddled. The man just happened to walk through as I flashed the picture. Do you see Ben there with his hand raised? He's adorable!

This was before we left for the game this morning. I had to get a shot of him in his uniform with his basketball. I love it that he and Scott have this to do together, and me for that matter. I had to laugh at myself on Saturday...so not the sportsy outdoorsy person...it was so pretty that we took the kids bike riding and we also "played" basketball. It won't be long until Ben actually dribbles and runs at the same time better than I do...but let's just let him think his 'ole mom is a star!!!! He'll find out differently soon enough, I'm afraid!

Well, the last picture is, of course, one of him role playing. He told me he was "calming the team down" here. And I quote "Just calm down guys, calm down!"